Nobody Else Knows What They’re Doing Either

It’s natural to feel intimidated. To feel under qualified. To feel naive. It’s even more natural as a young professional, a new graduate or even a student working through tough classes.

While it might feel like you’re on an island, trust me, nobody is immune to this. In fact, I had an undergraduate speech teacher tell me once that these types of nerves are a good thing. Being nervous and questioning how prepared you are shows that you really care about what you’re doing.

To be honest though, what I’ve learned so far is this.

Nobody really knows what they’re doing. 

Honestly. Why else would Google be as popular as it is? Not a single person has it all figured out. Nobody is all put together. Everyone has things to learn. 

Now as someone who can’t even always identify what all of my stuff is, it’s clear to me that some people have their stuff together a bit more neatly than others. That’s not to be said that they know exactly what they’re doing, though. 

Compared to me (a young professional with literally everything left to learn), these people are usually: 

• More experienced
• More confident
• Better at faking, and
• Have more resources

They use these advantages to learn a field, a position or a trade. As they continue to excel at that trade (or those trades, if they’re superhuman), they become more and more comfortable in their role thus giving off the impression that they “know what they’re doing.”

But let’s be real. Nobody really knows what they’re doing.

I know that’s a comforting thought, but we all still want to strive to be someone who seems to know what we're doing. So what we can do?

We can absorb everything—the good, the bad, the ugly. Literally everything. Take in what others in your work or school environment are doing. Learn from the mistakes others make. Master a skill others have. Absorb everything. 

We can have a good attitude. In fact, we can have an over-the-top, smile-through-the-pain, annoy-everyone-around, good attitude. Be willing to learn, develop and grow as a person and a professional. Adopt a good attitude.

We can fake it until we make it. One of the best TED talks I’ve ever seen deals with faking confidence until you feel confident. It’s a proven method to change your personal outcomes. Fake it until you make it.

It may not be natural to accept, but it’s time we all realize that we aren’t the only ones completely lost and confused. Nobody really knows what they’re doing.

So how do you plan to display that you do?

Study Tip Sunday: How Stress Affects Your Body

Dang guys, 4th of July weekend got me and I am off a day on my study tip…again. My sincerest apologies to anyone who was trying to study yesterday (mostly because I’m sure it was distracting with the firework displays, but also because you didn’t have this awesome study tip). 

This tip comes to you from my desk at TotalWellness (which is where I work..otherwise it’d be weird for me to have a desk there). I made this infographic at work to help people manage the stress of their daily job functions.

Like most great content, however, it’s multifunctional. Whether the stress is from work, school, having children, or just life in general, it still affects your body the same way. And let me tell you, it’s not affecting your body in a good way.

Check out this simple graphic, and the other content on our TotalWellness blog (shameless plug for work) to get an idea of how your lifestyle can determine your overall health.

How do you de-stress in your life?

25 Quotes to Get You Through the Day

Sometimes as grad students, young professionals, millennials or just humans, we need a bit of a pick me up. Keep this post bookmarked and share it with your friends to be just that.

Now keep in mind these are all my favorites (mostly from my Pinterest board), but feel free to share your own favorites below!

1. “But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength.” 2 Timothy 4:17

2. “Choose to see the good stuff.”

3. “God gives us only what we can handle. Apparently He things I’m badass.”

4. “Kid you’ll move mountains. Today is your day. Your mountain is waiting so get on your way!” Dr. Seuss

5. “I never look back darling. It distracts from the now.” Edna Mode

6. “Do not believe all the things you tell yourself late at night.”

7. “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once and while, you could miss it.” Ferris Beuller

8. “Take pride in how far you have come and have faith in how far you can go.”

9. “Faith is not knowing what the future holds, but knowing who holds the future.”

10. “Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.” Kurt Vonnegut

11. “Don’t be scared to walk alone. Don’t be scared to like it.”

12. “If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams, and you will always look lovely.” Roald Dahl

13. “Nothing great has been and nothing great will ever be without passion.”

14. “At first glance, it may appear too hard. Look again. Always look again.” Mary Anne Rodamacher

15. “If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try.” Set Godin

16. “Let your faith be bigger than your fear.”

17. “All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” Walt Disney

18. “Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.”

19. “Do what you can with what you have where you are.”

20. “Life is too important to be taken seriously.” Oscar Wilde

21. “Fear not for I am with you. I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous hand.” Isaiah 41:10

22. “Life is like a roller coaster. It has ups and downs. But it’s your choice to scream or enjoy the ride.”

23. “Take every chance. Drop every fear.”

24. “Never let success get to you head. Never let failure get to your heart.”

25. “Don’t worry. Everything is going to be amazing.”

Now, don’t you feel better? Go out and kick some serious booty.

Study Tip Saturday (On Monday): Study Space Necessities

My name is Becky Squiers, and I lost my balance. The first step to getting better is admitting it..right?

I still have a study tip for you all. I’m so sorry that it’s coming on Monday. I hope you weren’t at a complete loss on Saturday without it. 

That being said, I think we can all benefit from this awesome infographic about organizing your study space. As a graduate student, you’ve probably got a study routine down. If you don’t, it’s time to make one. 

As working grad students, we don’t have time to mess around trying to figure out which pencil is best and where to keep our wine coffee so it’s always in reach. 

These are my study space necessities, but feel free to add or subtract things according to your preferences. The most important thing is to set up a study space in which you feel comfortable so you can get the most out of the little time you have.

What other things do you need for an efficient study space?

Working Grad Students and the Worst Question Ever

Alright, maybe there are worse questions out there. But this one’s at least close to topping the list. As a graduate student who also has a career (and who some would consider crazy), the question I dislike most in the world is: 

"What do you do?"

Silly? Maybe. Surprising? Not really. The most loaded question you’ll ever hear? Definitely.

If you’re staring at the screen nodding in agreement, please accept my sincerest apologies that you’ve been in a similar situation. If you’re a bit confused how a question that seems so simple can be so difficult, allow me to explain.

In my experience, there is simply no good answer (not even an elevator speech) to that question.  

You can answer with, 

“I go to school at <<Insert Your School>>.” 

The problem with this answer, though, is that it doesn’t quite do you justice. The whole point of extra schooling is to get a specific job. It’s very career focused. So if you have a career, shouldn’t you be explaining that and just bypass the extra schooling you’re getting?

This type of answer also begs a lot of other follow up questions that may or may not be the most fun to answer.

I suggest using this answer when asked by:

• People you go to school with (because otherwise it’d just be confusing)
• Other people who go to school (hello med student. yes, I’m an MPH student.)
• Random passerby (you know..if they ask)

These people either understand your struggle and won’t hate you for leaving work out, or they really don’t care that much, so the awkward follow up questions will (hopefully) be minimal.

On to option B.

“I work as the <<Insert Your Title>>, at <<Insert Company Name>>.”

Answering like this is a bit more simple, but it doesn’t explain why your hair is a mess and you have that crazy look in your eye.

That’s because your life (and by your life, I obviously mean mine), is just not that simple. School complicates things, and it’s fair to want to justify the fact that you carry a to-do list and extra pens literally wherever you go.

This answer might be best for: 

• Other professionals (who might not take a student as seriously as they would a peer)
• Distant relatives (eventually you’ll just be working, they don’t need to be bothered with how you go there)
• That cutie you always see at <<Insert Where You Hang Out>> (because talking about your lack of sanity is more of a fifth date type of topic)

These are people who you either need to respect you as a professional, or who just don’t need all the messy details. 

If half-answering the question isn't your style, I guess you could also just tell the truth. 

“I go to school at <<Insert Your School>>…”

“Oh, how nice..what are…”

“But I also work as the <<Insert Your Title>>, at <<Insert Company Name>>.”

Answers like this might take a little longer, and will likely be greeted with shock, awe and general musings about your mental health. Be prepared for loads of questions about each part of your life, how they all fit together and how you manage your time.

The people worthy of the truth: 

• Close friends or new friends who you’ll be seeing a lot of (because they need to know the real you to love the real you)
• Close family members (because they deserve to know what happened to the sister/daughter/cousin they once knew and loved)
• Coworkers (because transparency is best, and they might have some great advice on managing the two)

These people are your allies. Your support system. Your resources. They can help you get through the tough times, but only if you explain to them why the times get tough in the first place.

No matter how you choose to explain (or not explain) your life choices to those who ask what you do for a living, remember to try to answer the question with class. It can get frustrating boiling your complicated life down to a simple enough answer. Try not to take that frustration out on the poor, innocent question-asker. 

What other questions about how you balance your life do you find difficult to answer?

Study Tip Saturday: In a Group or Alone?

Happy Saturday! Unfortunately, if you know the struggle of working through grad school, you know that Saturdays usually turn into study days. To keep you pushing through the weekend study sessions, stay tuned for Study Tip Saturdays.

Today, let’s talk about studying in groups (or as I like to call it misery) vs. studying individually (aka the gold standard). Obviously my opinion is specific to me, but let’s take a look at the pros and cons of each to figure it out.

Now I would like to clarify. Up until my last college basketball game last year, I’d been on a team pretty much consistently since I was probably 8 years old. I know how to be a teammate, and in my own (albeit biased) opinion I’m a great one. There is just something about group school work that doesn’t really allow for a transfer of that awesome teamliness for me.

So if we are being forced to study, let’s take a look at our options.

Group Studying

Pros: 

• Potential for fun distractions
• Bounce ideas off one another
• Clarification of things you don’t understand
• Sharing of resources (i.e. notes, books, snacks, coffee…)

Cons: 

• Potential for fun distractions
• Worrying what others think
• Groupthink (ya know..when someone thinks they’re right..but they’re wrong..and you find yourself accidentally thinking they’re right too)
• Finding a pace that works for all of you
• You’re only as strong as your weakest link (which can be terrifying)

Individual Studying

Pros:

• Work at your own pace
• Study where you feel comfortable
• Focus on what you need to work on
• Schedule distractions as you need them (late night jam sesh anyone?!)
• Study when it fits with your schedule (which can be strange for us working, schooling folks)

Cons:

• Potential for loneliness
• You’re responsible for all the resources (and coffee can get expensive)
• No one will correct you if you’re wrong

I’m clearly exerting my own bias on these pro/con lists, but let’s be real for a minute. Studying as a grad student can be tough without work and life to think about. It can be harder when you’re trying to balance it with the rest of the stuff that’s happening. 

Just remember that studying is meant to help you be successful in your classes. If you study better alone, don’t feel like you need to get roped into a group session. If you study better in a group, don’t be afraid to ask a few people (your classmates, preferably) to join you.

The bottom line is this…figure out your best study habits and be intentional about studying that way. You (and by you, I also mean me) don’t need the added stress of studying in an uncomfortable situation. 

What are some pros and cons of the way you study?