Friday, June 26, 2015

Working Grad Students and the Worst Question Ever

Alright, maybe there are worse questions out there. But this one’s at least close to topping the list. As a graduate student who also has a career (and who some would consider crazy), the question I dislike most in the world is: 

"What do you do?"

Silly? Maybe. Surprising? Not really. The most loaded question you’ll ever hear? Definitely.


If you’re staring at the screen nodding in agreement, please accept my sincerest apologies that you’ve been in a similar situation. If you’re a bit confused how a question that seems so simple can be so difficult, allow me to explain.

In my experience, there is simply no good answer (not even an elevator speech) to that question.  

You can answer with, 

“I go to school at <<Insert Your School>>.” 

The problem with this answer, though, is that it doesn’t quite do you justice. The whole point of extra schooling is to get a specific job. It’s very career focused. So if you have a career, shouldn’t you be explaining that and just bypass the extra schooling you’re getting?

This type of answer also begs a lot of other follow up questions that may or may not be the most fun to answer.


I suggest using this answer when asked by:
  • People you go to school with (because otherwise it’d just be confusing)
  • Other people who go to school (hello med student. yes, I’m an MPH student.)
  • Random passerby (you know..if they ask)
These people either understand your struggle and won’t hate you for leaving work out, or they really don’t care that much, so the awkward follow up questions will (hopefully) be minimal.

On to option B.

“I work as the <<Insert Your Title>>, at <<Insert Company Name>>.”

Answering like this is a bit more simple, but it doesn’t explain why your hair is a mess and you have that crazy look in your eye.


That’s because your life (and by your life, I obviously mean mine), is just not that simple. School complicates things, and it’s fair to want to justify the fact that you carry a to-do list and extra pens literally wherever you go.

This answer might be best for: 
  • Other professionals (who might not take a student as seriously as they would a peer)
  • Distant relatives (eventually you’ll just be working, they don’t need to be bothered with how you go there)
  • That cutie you always see at <<Insert Where You Hang Out>> (because talking about your lack of sanity is more of a fifth date type of topic)
These are people who you either need to respect you as a professional, or who just don’t need all the messy details. 

If half-answering the question isn't your style, I guess you could also just tell the truth. 

“I go to school at <<Insert Your School>>…”

“Oh, how nice..what are…”

“But I also work as the <<Insert Your Title>>, at <<Insert Company Name>>.”

Answers like this might take a little longer, and will likely be greeted with shock, awe and general musings about your mental health. Be prepared for loads of questions about each part of your life, how they all fit together and how you manage your time.

The people worthy of the truth: 
  • Close friends or new friends who you’ll be seeing a lot of (because they need to know the real you to love the real you)
  • Close family members (because they deserve to know what happened to the sister/daughter/cousin they once knew and loved)
  • Coworkers (because transparency is best, and they might have some great advice on managing the two)


These people are your allies. Your support system. Your resources. They can help you get through the tough times, but only if you explain to them why the times get tough in the first place.

No matter how you choose to explain (or not explain) your life choices to those who ask what you do for a living, remember to try to answer the question with class. It can get frustrating boiling your complicated life down to a simple enough answer. Try not to take that frustration out on the poor, innocent question-asker. 

What other questions about how you balance your life do you find difficult to answer?



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